While I have some love for football, I don’t profess to be a true fan or have a certain team that I’m particularly fond of. Football season is upon us yet again and every Philadelphia Eagles fan is waiting to see what DeSean Jackson will do as a wide receiver of the Washington Redskins. Earlier this year, willingly or not, we were grossly captivated by DeSean’s untimely demise From the Philadelphia Eagles.

I don’t know enough about DeSean Jackson’s situation to form an educated opinion on the Eagles’ decision to let him go and the way they did it. However, it is apparent that yet again, a man was found guilty by association. He was photographed with a gang member and then assumed to be a member of or have close affiliations with a gang, whatever that means. In any case, DeSean’s affiliations cost him a good gig and tarnished his fledgling reputation.

I like, DeSean, have found myself in similar situations, guilty by association, although I’m grateful to have never faced such harsh repercussions or consequences. I’ve befriended folks known to have “loose lips” and my ability to be discreet was questioned. I’ve been admonished by my big sister mentors for being seen publicly with women whom some consider to dress scantily clad or have scandalous behavior in their portfolio. I’ve even associated with folks whom others have deemed drama kings and queens because they were cool to me while not realizing that my personal credibility was at stake.

Despite the fact that I may have found merit with many of the associates harshly scrutinized and sometimes demeaned by my peers, foes and advocates, I had to eventually face the fact that the company I keep speaks volumes about me. While I may not possess the personality flaws of my associates, their flaws do impact my reputation and character. People do judge me based on the people I associate with. Is it fair? No. Is it real? Yes. It is my personal responsibility to control how I am received and perceived by others. I alone am the brand manager of me.

As brand manager, it is my responsibility to control how I treat the associates that others snicker and whisper about. I don’t discard or dessert them but I do regulate the frequency, setting and intimacy of our interactions. I do provide constructive feedback and positive reinforcement. I do role model personal responsibility and socially acceptable behavior. And when necessary, I simply cut the chord and keep it moving. Some folks just can’t be helped, at least by me.

However, it is also my responsibility to educate, inform and sometimes admonish the well meaning chorus in my life too, who sometimes cast aspersions unfairly. When using one finger to point at a person, four fingers are pointing back. Albeit well-intentioned and appreciated, every time you speak ill of someone, you breathe life into the negative cloud that surrounds them.

Some people don’t know better because they’ve never been taught or exposed to better. Everyone hasn’t had the benefit of positive role models and experiences. You or I just might be the angel God sends to put someone on a proper path. It may sound altruistic but instead of shunning, we should aim to uplift and encourage.

What are you guilty of? It’s a rhetorical question, don’t answer. Is it dissing and dismissing? Do you go too far with people and stay too long? Hmmm…smh. I hope that all of us are guilty of inspiring and encouraging change in those around us.

If I can help somebody, as I pass along

If I can cheer somebody, with a word or song,

If I can show somebody, how they’re traveling wrong.

Then my living shall not be in vain.

Whether I like it or not…Let’s face it…I am… You are…

Guilty by Association.